I failed my child

I’ve debated on whether or not I was going to share this, but at the same time I want to be honest and open with everyone. Then I came to the realization that there are others in my shoes as well, maybe I can learn from you. My daughter, age 8, was diagnosed with depression and anxiety yesterday. After exhausting every option I could think of over the last year, I decided to turn to our doctor for help and guidance. I myself have battled this over half of my life, likely longer but it wasn’t until I was in middle school I actually got help for this. I feel like I failed her, is there more I could have done? Did I not do something, am I not doing enough? Should I have gotten her help sooner?

She is a beautiful, intelligent, kind little girl with big dreams of Harvard someday. She isn’t one to ever be unkind to others, yet finds it hard to find friends. We try to reassure her that having one best friend is better than ten fake friends, but it still deeply hurts her when someone doesn’t want to be her friend or she feels like they don’t want to be. I’m just not sure how to help her or be there for her. If anyone has any suggestions or is in a similar situation please feel free to reach out to me, if you prefer to do it privately you an email me at familynfaithblog@gmail.com

Thanks for being my ear to listen today, God Bless!

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Vacation?? Please?

These last few weeks seems like they have been utter chaos. Where you feel like your constantly busy yet getting nothing accomplished? I have at least managed to figure out how to work my new vinyl machine, and do have some designs cut and ready to post. I’m hoping to get them uploaded tomorrow. I have begun experimenting with different tumbler designs and will begin working on wine glasses and coffee cups soon. So I have been working a lot on getting designs ready and cut.

We also just bought our first home. Thankfully it’s the home we’ve already been living in the last two years so we don’t have to pack up and move but now we are working on really personalizing our home. We’ve been going to home improvement stores, looking at color combinations and upgrading fixtures. Somehow it also turned into getting raised gardens and landscaping too. So now I get to start around 100 starter pots this week.

Family pictures were also on the list of things we fit into our schedule. I realized after taking them that it had been 3 years since we last took pictures together. I usually take the kids out and do photos of them but trying to beat a timer to get the whole family in was not my idea of fun. We got a sneak preview last night and I can’t wait to see the rest.

In all this chaos, getting overwhelmed is really easy to do. When I’m overwhelmed I tend to withdraw and just shut down. It wasn’t until tonight that I’ve realized how much my life has truly turned around lately. I went from feeling lost, hopeless, and unsure of the future to someone who actually looks forward to the future. I’ve realized I’m extremely blessed. I have a family that loves me, wonderful supportive friends that will stand through even the roughest storms with me, a roof over my head, a job I love, and food on my table. So for all of you that have stuck by my side I truly love you. I am still working through somethings but I know things will be okay in the end.

You’re Fired

No really…you are released from the job of making others happy. I’m sure you’ve probably noticed that no one else can make you happy, if they do it’s pretty short-lived. That is because you alone are responsible for YOUR happiness. I’m not saying that you should just walk away from someone who is unhappy and have the attitude of “that’s your problem not mine.” What I’m saying is, you do not have to 24/7 consistently be there to make someone else happy. You are not responsible for anyone else, but you can pray for them. You can commit to encouraging them everyday. Relationships, no matter what kind, will always be effort. They will not always be rainbows and butterflies. You have to work at not taking each other for granted and have open communication. Something I cannot say enough though, you cannot change anyone else. Let me say it again, you cannot make anyone else change, that is something only God himself can do. What you can do though is pray for them, pray that they find their way or that your mind be changed about what they are doing (as long as is a good thing). When we first begin a relationship with someone we see all these great things about them. We tend to overlook and not notice the things that we don’t like. As the relationship continues you start to see these things. If you focus on negativity and search it out in everything, then every situation is going to be negative for you. You will have a very pessimistic look on life, and frankly won’t be very happy. However, if you choose to focus on the good things, you will realize there is a blessing in every situation no matter how bad it is. You will be a much happier person in life. Happiness comes down to two things: 1. How is your relationship with God? 2 How is your relationship with yourself? If you are unhappy, that is two good places to start. I promise you, the only other person you will find happiness with is the man upstairs. So take time to get to know him better. Don’t feel like it’s your job to ever make someone else happy, and don’t put that on anyone else.

Something to remember….Good always triumphs over Evil.

Three little words

Some days it feels like your world is just crashing down. It’s hard to keep your chin up and have faith. But I promise you, Life Goes On. This is just a bump in the road, and things will get better.  I’ve had a bit of a rough past, things happened in my childhood that no child should go through. A question I’m often asked is, How do you forgive so easily? For me it is quite easy, I don’t believe in hatred. Holding on to feelings of hatred and living in the past will only do one thing, continue to hurt you. Holding grudges and feelings of hate doesn’t hurt the other person. It hurts you. In order to find peace you need to forgive and move on. If you are having trouble finding happiness and peace then sit and think, am I being unforgiving of anything or anyone? If so then forgive and pray for that situation or person. Yes I said it, pray for that person, in the end I promise it will help you. It may not happen immediately but continue to pray for them or the situation until you find peace with it. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.-Ephesians 4:32

There have been days that I just wasn’t sure if I would ever see the light at the end of the tunnel. You feel like you are lost and there is no way out. I’ve been in the deep hole of depression, and struggling with anxiety. It won’t happen over night, but you can work through it. The hardest part was finding a way to love myself again. When it feels like someone is whispering in your ear that you aren’t good enough, you’re not pretty enough, you’re not thin enough, you’re not smart enough, and the list goes on. At some point it will click though, someone is in your ear and wants to take over for you, Satan. He can creep in when you are vulnerable and take over quickly. So pull out your bible, or you can even use google. Look up scripture, write it down, and when those thoughts cross your mind you need to pray. Read those scriptures and pray every time those thoughts cross your mind. You can fight back, you can win, I believe in you. I believe you are worth it, you are enough! If you ever need someone to listen or pray with you please reach out.

God bless

Fight Like A Girl

He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” Mark 5:34
Living with a chronic illness can be overwhelming, living with multiple…can feel like prison. On the good days it is much easier to be thankful and see the brighter side. Those bad days, those are the ones that are the hardest to be thankful for, but the ones we need prayer the most. Some days you are in so much pain you just want it all to end, if you were even able to get out of bed it was a huge accomplishment. People often are quick to judge those with an invisible illness, because they cannot see something physically wrong so we must be faking it. I live with 3 chronic illnesses, which has also caused depression, anxiety, a mitral valve prolapse, and hypoglycemia. I think its normal to wonder why me, why can’t I just be healthy? Those days that people judge without knowing my story, insist I’m faking it, that it’s not that bad or I’m just lazy….those days I want to crawl into a hole. Then I see my family, and how lucky I really am.
My family does a wonderful job of picking up the slack when mommy is in too much pain to move or the fatigue is getting the best of me. My husband does a wonderful job of letting me sleep in on his days off. I often don’t realize this is the plan until he comes in to tell me he is taking our daughter to school, then I notice the alarm has been shut off. No matter how hard those bad days are, we still have things to be thankful for. We woke up that day, and God has a plan for us, which includes his strength to complete that plan. You may be the inspiration for someone and not know it, so keep your head held high and continue to pray.

Rejoice always, pray continually, Give thanks in all circumstances: for this is God’s will for you in Jesus Christ.-1 Thessalonians 5:15-18

Case all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.- 1 Peter 5:7

For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, “Do not fear I will help you.”-Isaiah 41:14