After sending my children off to school in the morning, I usually take a few moments and enjoy a cup of coffee. Those with small children know what a luxury it is to actually enjoy a warm cup of coffee. Not one you’ve reheated several times already and it’s cold yet again. This morning as I sipped my coffee I began looking at my list of orders I currently have, supplies I need to order, and the cold medicine I need to take yet again. Now I’m not sure if it’s because my children have been taking turns being sick for weeks, that it hit me this time and I feel like I was hit by a bus, or that I’m just burnt out. I love my job, I truly do, but I feel like my passion is fading. Part of why I’ve loved my job is because it was something different every day, I could be creative. Here lately though I seem to have lost that spark. The weather changing has caused road blocks at every turn, I can’t paint or it’s too cold and things are setting up correctly. My computer isn’t acting right and my software continues to shut down every few minutes. It’s difficult to not become discouraged when it seems like everything is going wrong. It would be quite easy to just give up and move on. But instead I am going to take my medicine, jump in a hot shower to so I can breathe, then I am going to hand it all over to God because I know he will guide me in what I need to do. I’m going to work the next couple of hours while my kids are in school, this afternoon spend some time trying to repair my computer, and this weekend I will get all the things prepared that I need to so that I can have a productive and good work week next week. Instead of throwing in the towel, I’m going to find a way to renew my passion. I know it is in there, I just need to have faith.
So tell me, how do you keep from being burnt out?
Here recently I felt the need to dig into what it truly means to be a biblical wife/mother. Everyday I’ve found new scripture, books, studies, ect. You name it I’ve come across it lately. One verse has really stuck out to me and felt like it was leading me in a new direction. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children.- (Titus 2:4) I do feel like we need to share experiences and help guide each other. Our culture today has turned being a submissive biblical wife into something it is not. So I have felt the need to share my journey into becoming a more biblical wife and mother. If I can help even one other woman feel more confident as a wife and mother then it is all worth it. So make sure you follow me so you can see my new post, and feel free to comment, ask questions, let me know how I can help you, anything. So for today I will cut this short and begin planning a few more post.
God Bless and I’m so happy you’ve chosen to go on this journey with me!
This morning I’m sitting here with my coffee running over everything that needs to be done today. I have a full work load currently, plus volunteering at the school, and I have a long list of things that need to be done around the house. I would usually stress and end up with a migraine leading me to even more stress because I can’t get anything done. Thanks to colder weather moving in I’m also moving much slower because my illness and cold do not get along. Instead I’m doing what I can, while trying not to overdo it and leave myself unable to move. I’ve come to the point that my housework will always be there so there is no need to rush. With my work things can honestly go so fast anyways, I can’t speed it up any. So, I do what I can in the morning and if I can add to it a few hours later I do, if not I finish what I need to around the house. I think one thing that most of us can agree upon is that at different times in our lives we have sent up that prayer asking for guidance. What am I to do in this new season of life? Do I stay at this job? Am I being a good Wife? Am I being a good parent? Am I on the track you have for me?
The new season in life my husband and I recently entered led me to ask these same questions. It also led me to begin more concentrated studies over being a biblical woman and wife. I’m working on trying to turn those into a series of post. Then my plan is to dig deeper into raising children in society today. Neither of these tasks are ones that should be rushed through, I’m going through the bible, finding different bible studies and books on these. I will likely share bits and pieces along the way and post about topics when I’m led to post. I strongly feel that you need to surround yourself with good mentors. Whether you are single, married, or have kids are you surrounding with others that show that good biblical character? Those people that you can just tell they walk with Christ? Lately I’ve done a lot of evaluating on myself, asking myself those same questions. It’s never fun to consider areas that you need to improve, and you will never be perfect, that’s just a fact. You can however ask for guidance, pray on it. Be open and communicate that you need help in these areas. Lean on your mentors, I’m sure they would be happy to speak with you and guide you. I know several ladies come to mind when I think of really good mentors, these ladies would also be there to speak with any time and help me grow spiritually. I know one area I need to work on is submission (I will dive into this topic at a different time), and boy is that a challenge for me. I’m a very stubborn person and one that naturally likes to take control. Now that our children are all in school, I work from home so I do have some flexibility in my schedule. After the kids are dropped off, I usually work first, begin cleaning, then sit down and have my study time. I journal a daily scripture plan every day, read the bible (my goal is the entire bible in 90 days), my daily devotionals, catch up for Sunday school in I need to, and read some of my current lifestyle book. Right now, I’m reading The Resolutions for Women, which I encourage all women to read, there is a men’s book also. I’m not saying you must spend hours every day studying the word, but make sure you set aside some time to spend with Christ. You will be amazed at the difference it will make in your life.
Before I close I want to leave you with this. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the lord is to be praised.- Proverbs 31:30
I sat here staring at this screen for far too long today, trying to decide what direction I was going to go in. Same thing happens when I try to write a prayer for my family today. I know the general direction I want to go with it, but the actual journey just isn’t happening for me at the moment. I could take the easy way and just say forget it and walk away for the day. How how easy that would be, I could just go read a book or watch some tv. But I’m also leaving a crack open so Satan himself can slip in and much like this fly that keeps bouncing off my face, he is relentless and is waiting for that moment. Instead I reached out to someone, she’s also my accountability person. Did I do my daily writing, did I finish the daily bible reading (we are doing a 52 week plan to read the bible, so you don’t want to fall behind).
It’s important to surround yourself with people who support your journey with Christ. Who will battle with you when you need it and you will go to battle for. When my office moved downstairs much of my “War Room” didn’t make the journey. Leaving a desk upstairs in the corner that became a catch all. Yesterday, I decided it was time to take my War Room, or corner in my case, back. It’s time to fill my desk and wall back up with my battle plan. I encourage everyone to do this, even if you don’t have an entire room to set aside for this. Find a area that you can comfortably sit and spend time with God, clear out any distractions. Turn off the tv, your phone, social media. Focus and meditate on what God is trying to tell you. If you need help getting started or you need a little help during your journey, call out to that accountability partner. We should all be supporting and helping each other. If you don’t have someone you can reach out to please feel free to contact me at email@example.com anytime. I’m always happy to help.
Honestly when I sat down to write tonight I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about. So I did what I often do when I’m at a crossroads. I pull out my devotionals and unwind first. Usually, inspiration then strikes. Just like it has tonight. Growing up we often dream of our future. You know, that one where you have the perfect house, perfect job, perfect family. It isn’t until you are much older and wiser that you realize that those perfect things you wanted, they take a lot of work. That perfect relationship started out like a fairy tale. Throw in a stressful career, a few kids, medical problems, and the day to day stresses…. You then end up wondering where that fairy tale went. It’s nothing like you dreamed about, frankly it’s much more chaotic and stressful.
After a while it takes a toll on the relationship. You begin wondering where things changed. Sometimes you need to take time to recharge and rekindle things. You need to be open and honest about your feelings, and an effort has to be made to bring back that fairy tale. The truth is, love is work. It’s messy and frustrating sometimes, but it’s also a beautiful thing. In two days I celebrate 8 years of marriage (10 years together) with an amazing man. A man that works hard every single day to make sure our family has everything we need. Things aren’t always rainbows and butterflies, honestly at times it’s been tough. But I’ve also realized that I wouldn’t want to go through life without him. Recently my brother told me that he looks at my marriage and hopes to be as lucky as I am, his goal is to have a love like I do. That meant a lot to me. We came from a broken home, and unfortunately I went through parents divorcing more than once. So for me to be that role model for my brother was an honor. It also reminded me how much your parents relationship changes your views on relationships. I want my children to see firsthand what love is. I have been very blessed with my husband. He’s been there through my medical issues, gotten me through some tough family issues, and was by my side as we watched our twins struggle because they were born 9 weeks early. So before I close I want to tell my husband: I love you and thank you for sticking by my side even through the darkest of days.
Eventually everyone has a sink or swim moment in their life. That point that they feel like they can only be sucked under so many times before they drown. Last week was that time for me, not the first time but one of those times. It’s been a rough few months and I am someone that needs to be physically comforted. I need that hug to feel like I will be okay. My primary focus is my family, that is my job. I make sure they have food to eat, clean clothes to wear and a somewhat organized home. How organized can you really be with two four year olds though? I do my best 24/7 to be there for them, support them and comfort them when needed. Yet it feels like I fight my battles completely alone. Now I realize this isn’t true, I’m not truly ever alone. I always turn to my faith and pray, and eventually I do get through it. Sometimes though, a hug saying I care would be nice. Some days you just really need someone to talk to and some days you just need time alone. I would love to be able to go get my nails done or even shop for new bedding by myself. Where I can actually concentrate on what I’m doing there and not break up arguing and calm down a tantrum. Can I just be me for a minute? Not mom, maid, cook, referee, chauffeur and frankly exhausted…..
I realize the chance of that actually happening is pretty much zero, so instead I will sit here with my coffee and day dream about a few months from now when all three of my children will be in school and I can actually clean house and work without chaos. Honestly it sounds as good as a beach and a cocktail right now.
Have you ever had those days when you wake up and everything irritates you beyond comprehension? You can look at your foot and instantly you just hate your foot? This is one of those mornings for me. I’m tired, I’m crabby, and everything is just irritating. When you get to that point of being so overwhelmed you want to scream though, you just want to snap. As much as I really need some me time to blow off some steam, I know this won’t be happening. I love my family, I do. But I am around them 24/7 , caring for them around the clock. Grocery shopping alone should not feel like a trip to the Bahamas, and getting to go to the Post office alone shouldn’t be considered a vacation. But it is…because I don’t even get to use the bathroom alone. I think every mom gets to this point at times. It’s normal, doesn’t make it easier though.
Truthfully, I’m not sure how I will deal with it today. A movie and wine at midnight when all the kids have finally fallen asleep, I’ve picked up the living room and finally get to sit down just doesn’t seem too appealing tonight. So my question for you all….how do you relax? What’s your go to that keeps you sane?
I guess until I figure it out though, I will go back to ending arguments and finishing my coffee.
These last few weeks seems like they have been utter chaos. Where you feel like your constantly busy yet getting nothing accomplished? I have at least managed to figure out how to work my new vinyl machine, and do have some designs cut and ready to post. I’m hoping to get them uploaded tomorrow. I have begun experimenting with different tumbler designs and will begin working on wine glasses and coffee cups soon. So I have been working a lot on getting designs ready and cut.
We also just bought our first home. Thankfully it’s the home we’ve already been living in the last two years so we don’t have to pack up and move but now we are working on really personalizing our home. We’ve been going to home improvement stores, looking at color combinations and upgrading fixtures. Somehow it also turned into getting raised gardens and landscaping too. So now I get to start around 100 starter pots this week.
Family pictures were also on the list of things we fit into our schedule. I realized after taking them that it had been 3 years since we last took pictures together. I usually take the kids out and do photos of them but trying to beat a timer to get the whole family in was not my idea of fun. We got a sneak preview last night and I can’t wait to see the rest.
In all this chaos, getting overwhelmed is really easy to do. When I’m overwhelmed I tend to withdraw and just shut down. It wasn’t until tonight that I’ve realized how much my life has truly turned around lately. I went from feeling lost, hopeless, and unsure of the future to someone who actually looks forward to the future. I’ve realized I’m extremely blessed. I have a family that loves me, wonderful supportive friends that will stand through even the roughest storms with me, a roof over my head, a job I love, and food on my table. So for all of you that have stuck by my side I truly love you. I am still working through somethings but I know things will be okay in the end.
No really…you are released from the job of making others happy. I’m sure you’ve probably noticed that no one else can make you happy, if they do it’s pretty short-lived. That is because you alone are responsible for YOUR happiness. I’m not saying that you should just walk away from someone who is unhappy and have the attitude of “that’s your problem not mine.” What I’m saying is, you do not have to 24/7 consistently be there to make someone else happy. You are not responsible for anyone else, but you can pray for them. You can commit to encouraging them everyday. Relationships, no matter what kind, will always be effort. They will not always be rainbows and butterflies. You have to work at not taking each other for granted and have open communication. Something I cannot say enough though, you cannot change anyone else. Let me say it again, you cannot make anyone else change, that is something only God himself can do. What you can do though is pray for them, pray that they find their way or that your mind be changed about what they are doing (as long as is a good thing). When we first begin a relationship with someone we see all these great things about them. We tend to overlook and not notice the things that we don’t like. As the relationship continues you start to see these things. If you focus on negativity and search it out in everything, then every situation is going to be negative for you. You will have a very pessimistic look on life, and frankly won’t be very happy. However, if you choose to focus on the good things, you will realize there is a blessing in every situation no matter how bad it is. You will be a much happier person in life. Happiness comes down to two things: 1. How is your relationship with God? 2 How is your relationship with yourself? If you are unhappy, that is two good places to start. I promise you, the only other person you will find happiness with is the man upstairs. So take time to get to know him better. Don’t feel like it’s your job to ever make someone else happy, and don’t put that on anyone else.
Something to remember….Good always triumphs over Evil.